yes.!!! i have received a photo of a fisherman turned bait informant. this photo came at the expense of many fine men. You may recognize my friend phat tony on the left. the middle is who i call "Mr. Bait" and the man drinking deep from the flask is , yes. Milwaukeematt.
i know what you may think, but catfish, "Phat tony is yo best bud, whats M.matt doin with him?"" my only response is that i loved him too much. yes...i found M.matt an orphan. a baby left for naught in a 5 gallon bucket down by the river. I accepted this young babe and took him under my fin. i raised him and taught the subtle ways of bait presentation, the nuance of the circle hook, how to read the river bottom from the ripples in the water..
and yes, i taught him how to "feel" the fish. the same force that the brown and pink jedi share. without one you can't have the other... the lifeforce that binds us and makes the universe one. but M.matt's passion to catch monster catfish changed when he started to kill them and sell there flesh. he grew too powerful. and then he met the Fish Lady and fell under her slimy power. she offered him all the bait in the universe for his allegiance. and now, my son., i have dedicated my life to hunt you down and take back the secret of the fish. we will meet on a river bank someday. A day that i dread, for it is my fate to destroy what i love. the burden of catfishjim.
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What a delightful suprise, here I sit enjoying a beautiful morning sipping a cup of Phillipino Virgin Blood Tea, (They scream a lot locked in the in the basement, but the taste makes the annoyance worth it!)and I see my Brother from another Mother has graced his page with a picture of me. Yes I have been seduced into the warm breasts of of the Fish Lady and her evil Chum Cult. Since that picture was taken I tricked, betrayed and ate "Mr. Bait"; we turned him into a wonderful Sushimi...oh the memories. If you look closely at the picture you can see the hunger in "Mr. Bait's" eyes, keeping him from devouring Phat Toney right then and there took all my powers. He was completely uncultured, and tried to soil my virgins on a daily basis, we could not let him live. The power I gained from this along with my ongoing training has made me strong in the brown and pink jedi force. My sensitivity has been heightened by a factor of.....um...let's just say I feel everything now, its fabulous!!!
The secerets formerly held by King Catfish are now all mine, and there is nothing you can do. To kill me will only make my powers grow and the secret will be lost to you forever!!! You have no choice but to join me young one, for now I am the master and you are the orphan set adrift along the River Stix. Join me my son and together we will hold domain over all Catfish everywhere. We will rise together and destroy the Fish Lady, Our powers will rival that of Salt Water Greg!....(Don't say any thing to the Fish Lady about the hold destroying her thing...you know how it is.) Come to me Catfish Jim, come to me, feel my pink power...The brown force trembles with anticipation in my presence...COME TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!
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