to my peeps:

thanks for reading. this blog shall expire in 24 hours.

Friday, December 21, 2007

hi martian lovers

CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH MARS: Have you noticed an intense red star rising in the east in recent evenings? That's no star, that's Mars. The red planet is having a close encounter with Earth this week. At closest approach on Tuesday evening, Dec. 18th, the two worlds will lie only 55 million miles apart. Mars won't be this nearby again until the year 2016. To the naked eye, Mars now outshines every star in the night sky (it is slightly brighter than Sirius) and it looks great through a backyard telescope. Visit for photos, observing tips and sky maps.
Fish on catfish lovers!!!
NOTE: While, technically speaking, Mars is at its best and brightest only on Dec. 18th, the red planet will remain unusually close and beautiful for weeks to come. This makes it a Merry Martian Christmas for anyone who finds a telescope under their tree on Dec. 25th:

Thursday, December 6, 2007

cold in da wisco. bbbrrrrrrrrrrrr. go Cowboys!!!

hi all. i've been working many hours this month as santa's elves aren't goldsmiths. i am and have to make the stuff to make many ladies happy. i've been thinking about the Cowboys a lot lately. What a great team. they've got it all and could win the super bowl. i am so ready to icefish. havta find carpfish jeff's tent/home so we can jig'em up. hope all is fine and everyone have a merry xanadumas. stay healthy.. p.s. i heard sandy's baby's father could be from someone not erik. i guess Jeff stopped down there about 6 months. that feral dog. sad to say but the spawn will probably be.....???

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Packers grudgingly lose to Da 'Boys

what a game. i feel bad for what i did to the romo-doll. i'm sorry. I have been asked to join the legion of the blue and silver stars. this team who has defeated the pack so many time. should i switch to a cowboy fan? is it such a bad idea. the packers are gonna suck more again and the cowboys seem to be on a ginormous upswing for the next many years. i feel torn apart inside. Packers or Cowboys. Carp or Catfish. i am so confused!?!?!?!?

Sunday, November 25, 2007

jeff kopp is insane

have you all been reading "in back of beyond" ??? i think the mad lust for chad kelly has demented his love... and he always talks about himself in 3rd person. i keep wondering, "does jeff think this is funny??? Catfish jim will investigate this behavior and post back. Jim is super bizzy and is occupied with a voodoo doll. for Darth M.matt and the upcoming packer/cowboy game. Do you sacrifice and dismember Romo, or us voodoo black magik?? i can't decide. and Musky Erik's lady "sandy" is full of spawn.. I wonder what her mailman looks like as erik is never home long enough to do "the deed" . thats the problem with musky fisherman.. just musky on the mind.. shame shame... have a merry christmas... catfish jim out!!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

i think chad kelly and k-fed r luvvers

holie schizoo!!!!. were in SE-QUIM

yes, its true ,,,, we r here. i am here with my son. darth M.matt. i'm here in washingtin.. washington, yes, fun in the back yard and love and gossip. i found out that a crab-trapper in port townsend that fished sequim that knew a chic in aberdeen heard that chad kelly and jeffy mcCarpy were seen hugging on cannon beach in O-regon last week...
beautiful weather here now .. gotta luv it!!!lots of love cruisin the west coast....its hot, blue skies,and bright on

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


yea! were heading to the west coast this weekend. can't wait to get there and see our friends. and its a bye week so we won't miss da packers. i must admit, i talked a lot about musky at Club Forestsex last week. quite an interesting talk . a foto is in the stevens point paper of a musky with a 2 foot carp in its mouth. both quite dead.
big in the news. my carpy Chad Kelly-lover jeff started his new job. he's working at a porn job called El Dorado's. stop on down for some grown-up fun:) cfj. over and out.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

HOT GOSSIP: jeffers McKelly loves chad McKelly!!!

Guess what i just heard. jeff and chad are in love, yes its true. i heard it at the Elbow room from a guy that know this girl that knew this girl that tried to have sex (yuck) with chad kelly and he said "No, I'm saving my man-love for a carp-diety that i had a dream of sweet love with"...Wow, and jeffers is a carp god. hhmmmmm...
its cold here and i can't wait to hook up some fish man...this weekend smells like Pipe- crappies baby..............fishy jim out..

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

bears win!!!cowboys win!! jeff 1...chad kelly...0

wow. 2 victories. plus my victory at the chili competition. cold here. time to get ready to icefish. i have not heard from my friend /god Greg for awhile. he might my a cuban refuge by now. Jeffers Mc Carpy has got a Job!!! he is beating the notoriously stinky and unemployed lamprey by the name of chad kelly. chad is repulsed by soap,work,and responsibility. jeff is just repulsed by chad. can't wait to see you all again. My son D. Mmatt. cheers homey. AK-47. seeing ya soon dude.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

i won

i won the chili competition and my mom's here, time to party.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Chili competition 2007

oh baby, its here. i can't wait. first : fishin at the pipe on monday for gills and Crap-pies. we'll see. we're goin with SBG's pops. this dude has been fishin for like a century.
fall is upon us. Carpy McJeffers is as weird as usual and i think is starting to mate with feral cats in the point area. Phat tony is fatter. Me, i'm just ready to Icefish.
big day tomorrow with the competition. We'll see how many people show. should be a beautiful day. Fish on bruthas!!! p.s. my b-day is Oct. 1st. 29 and holding. :)

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


haven't fished. i'm disgraced.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

bizzy like a beaver. Ribs anyone?

wow. i got a new job and have been sooo busy. i am deeply sorry to all my dudes and dudettes. i'm for shame. had a great labor day.. me and s.b.g. visited the 4th largest waterfall in N. america up by superior, wi. Superior should change its name to average. Duluth on the other hand was pretty fly. got get ready to werk again. a rib competition is in the works for this weekend at P. tony's. I'm plotting a little already to take over the rib competition with some underhandedness. ha!!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Chili competition 2007

yahoo. its chili time again. me and my sexxxy bait girl is gettin on a chili tournament that'll be a real crowd pleaser. sept 29 . bring a crock pot and an attitude for a good time. i'll supply the beer, you bring your angst. fun fun, cfj over and out

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

hello jeffers

guess who i saw today. yes. Carpy Mcjeffers of the infamous "in back of beyond" blog. he swooped down and said hi today, and then ran to the safety of stevens point's library to blog himself today. I woke up Phat tony with a breakfast call. he wasn't happy. we are scheduling a rib and chili competition in the next 2 months so let me know if you need directions. i just got a new job at a jewelry store, and just finished mowing the yard. later. jim

Thursday, August 9, 2007

poker in the front, liquor in the rear

played poker at Toby's last nite. i placed 5th and ang got 4th and in the $$$$ the winner would have been Bro-dog's bastard brother Casey, but he was playing very tight.(sissy but he got cash) good times had by all.
Slayed a herd of cats last week. very tasty indeed. i can't wait to hook'em up again. My sexxxy ho and i are planting trees and shit today, so i'm off to the yard. later.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Join Me!!!

Allow yourself to relax. Gaze deeply into my eyes. Don't you feel calm? relax. you are with a friend. enjoy. think of clouds and bunnies. let yourself go. close your eyes and let every muscle relax and sink deeper into the couch. i will now count backwards from 10 and when i reach 1, you be free. free to do anything i say. to help the catfish King. the king will free you and reward you. i'll be your friend and we'll have fun together. now relax. 10....9...feel your eyelids get heavier...8...7...6...deeper and are feeling as though you are free. gravity is gone. just my voice...2....1....crap. i've gotta go to work.. i'll see you next time. same catty time , same catty place......

Sunday, July 22, 2007

rob's wedding + flatheads galore?!

went to rob and heid hughes wedding last nite. it was a lot of fun and we got to chill with Musky Erik and Sandra. erik sent me a foto of a musky that had bee killed because it was eating all the bluegills in a sweet spot and the old timers killed it. a big musky at that. also i saw some other friends. i will be holding a chili cook off this season and also a rib challenge. so some fun cooking in future. beautiful weather today. just have to nurse a hangover and maybe some fishing later. i'm hot a spot for the infamous flathead and a dude lastnite turned me on to a killer spot. later

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Bizzy like a bee!!

yo, catfish is super -bizzy. frontin'ya'll. my man robby rob is gittin hitched to his ho this weekend some i'ma headin' there for some merry making. me and sexxxy baitgirl and i tore it up on the river on sunday, and who should appear thru my hamm's induced haze, but none other than Carpy-McJeffers. we chilled and shit. i missed 2 cats. very upset. more later...i think jeff is heading up north to spread the word. peace! c.f.j.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Holy Crap did we hookk 'em up!!! Lucky 07/07/07

hey boys and girls, PHat TOny and I put on a clinic last nite on how to catch catfish and drink beer. We hooked up 10 nice channel cats with a flurry of yellow-bellied bullheads and a random smallie/ walleye.
I have experimenting with a different bait presentation that seems to attract all kinds of fish.and no its not worms,...but tony's got worms.hey!! Tony topped the nite with a beauty cat that weighed around 8-9lbs. the head on this thing was huge! I brought in one lovely fish that was quite a weird one. it had the dimensions of a 26 " catfish, except it was 'bout 22'' long. very compact and pudgy. its like imagine a weenie dog that got smooshed together. i let her go.
It was fri-nite, 07/07/07. freight nite. the spot we were at had none stop semi traffic along with the train noise.. also there was a car exp in town full of Cherry hot rods that were revving their engines of that gas! Antares(the giant red star) in the heart of the constellation Scorpio was beautiful. The largest of the Jovian planets sparkling above. (yes jupiter) set the stage for a romantic evening.. sexy bait girl was cheerful, but had to leave early...
Last nite i tried something i've never tried before.with a man. tony and i were alone and kinda drunk, so i let him stick his finger in my stinkbait. wow. it was painful watching my stinkbait getting finger by someone else than me. but i relaxed, we're friends right? it was all for fun, but i bet his finger still stinks today. that stuff gets under youre fingernail man. eeeeewwwww....
So try out new bait combos and experience a whole different style of fishing.. the brown side of the force is strong. Fishin with buddies. cheers from the twisted cat-guru. fish on!!! c.f.j.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

happy 4th of july ya'll

hi all. what a wednesday. i watch a marathon between Rocky and Shaft yesterday while nursing a hung over "baitgirl" Sometimes free booze isn't that great, soft on the pocketbook, hard on the headache. Big news is that i am planning a flathead catfish expedition on the wisco flowage @ here to see if one may be around. it should be interesting. My friend York(the guy with the car stolen twice in one day) has a birthday as does my dear father. i will have to work on some presents. take care and keep those comments coming...except from that "blueberry Mafia guy".. we all know who you are. later cfj...

Friday, June 29, 2007

Catfish Jim Defeats Carpfish Jeff!!!!!!! / Zinger!!!

yes, its true!!. i protected my world-title belt against the nasty carpfisherman Jeffers!!! he even tried to cheat.!! he used corn*** dastardly.. Our day started as usual with a little friendly indian-leg wrestling. from then on it elevated to a full bore fishing tourney!!! jeff's carpy-nessis only rivaled by his love of smarmy-ness. all in all... a great day. we fought. we bonded. we loved. not each other. but just those quiet inbetween times. a musky man has a LOT of inbetween time. (just ask Erik (a.k.a.judge judy.. about the lotion incident?) And its all true, i would not lie to you; my catfish brethren.
yesterday i had one of the biggest zingers of my Life!!! No, not the chocolate twinkie-like objects that are so yummy. i am speaking of the sound of your drag when a catfish (or carp) grabs that bait and heads for the hills. If you ever hear..."zzzzzzzz...sploosh" your rods in the water (empirical knowledge). I had just cast out a couple rods and was contemplating my third rods terminal rigging, when lo and behold!! my drag started screaming like my crazy neighbor's wife!!! I was sure this was a behemoth, or a small guy hot to trot. i lifted the pole and .... must've just had the bait in its mouth.. only bite of the afternoon. shux.
i've been busy campin a little and getting my goldsmith bench finalized. a lot of small details in all to get a comprehensive jeweler's bench built. my girlie has been so supportive of it all. she's whats kept me going on this mission. so, if you'd like any custom jewelery brothers. let me know!! jim

Monday, June 4, 2007

June just past the Blue Moon

Hello everyone!! just back from a campin' trip at devil's lake in baraboo, wisconsin with the dinkins family. had a blast, got rained on, burned wood, drank hamm's and ate too much. very fun indeed.
this weekend is my friend rob hughes' bachelor party. we are headin' to fish the Wolf river at the New london dam on housebo-at that is grandfathered in the river. so me and some buddies are tossing bait for flatheads all nite. rob caught a 40 in pike last time and the river is known for big flatheads. yea!!!
Carpy Mc jeffers is busy circumnavigating the willow and was last heard fighting a lashing thunder-boomer. he may not come back the same man. compounding his isolation from human interaction, i believe he is becoming weirder. (if possible) check out his fun @
Phat tony and his bait ho went down to the brown river state park in Ar-Kansas on memorial day weekend. they canoed and lounged on the lazy banks of that purdy river with their deliverance tour guide, Ernie. as ernie says, "if two guys can't hurt him, one guy can't do much harm" I assume this must be about "fist" fights. hahahaha...
i'm working "Rock the brewery" this weekend too. yep. i work at the Stevens Point Brewery too. many facets to CFJ.. I can't wait to hear Richard Marx, Starship, and Steppenwolf play.. I'm breakin' out my hot pink suspenders and piano tie for this extravaganza!!!
Also, in light of my developing beer belly, i am gonna stop drinking beer for 2 weeks.. like lent but different.. i will switch to atkins/slimfast drinks like; wine, gin,vodka,and whisky. i will watch myself transform back into the lean mean catfishin' machine i was before 27. i guess we'll take this trip together. 14 days. i can do it. maybe I'll musky fish for a while. you aren't supposed to drink beer while you musky fish because its so exciting, and you can't drink because you are catching too many musky all the time... at least that what erik and cookie tell me. well, i'll keep in touch better my brethren,.. i hit the wisco 3 times last week, and i think i'm a switchin' carp for awhile cuz they're jumpin like water on a hot greased pan. later. cfj.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Idle Banter plus... Carpy Jeff's "secret spot"

Wow, is it summer or what. have any of you heard of the candian serial killer by the name of Pickton?? holy smokes... i don't know how that guy could find time for fishin' with all that murderin'!? i've been busy building my own jewelers bench to set up my own little workshop.. yes, catfishjim has been a practicing goldsmith for 15 years. plus i also worked at the stevens point brewery yesterday.. man is that place crazy in the summer time.. i guess i'm a jim of all trades'
the Brood XIII is upon us and already hatching in the chicago area. when i say brood, i mean the hatching of the cicada. the largest entymological hatching in the world.
did a little catfishin' on tuesday. tried bacon...doesn't stay on the hook that well for mach 3 casts, but i suppose a soft presentation it would work great.
my friend shane did a 4 day hike across a glacier and frozen lake up in alaska. crazy... he sent me a link to get the jist of the trek.. i sure hope he is writing all this down for his memoirs/book. he was also a brown bear guide..when i say guide i mean he would shoot them..for money so thats ok with all you money- hungry, earth-hatin', bambi killers.. i myself don't have the ability to kill anything that makes noise..if fish cried, i'd be a vegan...
if any of you have been checking on lately, jeffers has gone native up north.. I DO know his exact whereabouts so if you would like to know his "special place" i'd love to fill you in. then we can all be "in back of beyond" which i think is code for high on ectasy, ridin' the white horse, flying some boss crank, and all that acid- smoking that those hippies do. to each there own...
SBG and i did watch a show and found out most of america around the 1900s were all morphine junkies... sears-roebuck would send you a hypodermic needle kit for $1.50. already loaded with the dragon for you shooting pleasure..
have a safe memorial day and remember the vets and soldiers.. i think we should bring the troops home to there wives and kids, and impeach this small-minded , shitty president... cheers. Fish On.....

Friday, May 18, 2007

My undacova brutha from anutha mutha!!

yes!!, here is photo of myself when i ruled the riverbanks as the phattest fishin' pimp of all times..shit... the "man" next to me is a mole in the "waste management mafia". he can take care of any "body" you need disposing of. for a fee of course. i don't feel safe right now so i'm jettin.....cfj

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Headin to minneapolis with an achin in my heart

headin to mud duck land to see prairie home companion with garrison keeler. Phat tony turnd us onto this show by gratitude of fishing adventures. a must if shore fishin..(props) i ran into a friend of ours i haven't seen for ten years.. jeff healy and his sexxy bait wife, mandy. man .. i must say time has not been good to them, or i am just soo good looking.. must be the oil of olay.. we visited the acclaimed "harbor bar" and Phat tony made a guest appearance. he has lost weight. so he may be slim tony soon.. My fine accomplice..(sexxy bait girl) was one fly ho!... and she got a new job so we were celebrating... fun in wisconsin.. it was weird because i ran into people from point..norbert, natalie, and leigh. i work with both natalie and leigh, and i think i surprised all of them... huh, catfishjim not fishin??? but it was fun and i'll never drink again......i need a chuck norris bloody mary.. and jeff kopp getting fatter??and what ever happend to Darth M.matt??? is he stripping for billy d. williams for some cool colt 45???? and why am i thinking this.. yesterday i was talking to a lady at work about the baby-boomers and how they will make a great protein source for cat and dog food...with some A1 sauce. i gotta think humans taste like chicken..just add some colonel's secret recipe and voila!! KFC ...mmmmmm.....

Monday, May 7, 2007

BitchList 2007....New G's in da hood.

yo!! wassup my nappy-headed catbuddies. some shizoos begin hittin los pavement and some of my homies aint gettin the cheddar. some shit's been really pissin the f*#k outta yo man: the following....
1st. my "wasteman" be dissin me.(on the stinkbait list)
2nd. some g's stole my man y-orks whip
3rd. Phat tony's on a diet. (on my stinkbait list)
4th. Carpfish jeff is frontin' all this corn shit. (ho)
5th. all these walleye bee-atches be frontin' my shit.
6th. the Fish Lady's still holdin' out on my Sucka.
7th. I diversified both of my 401k's so that i am in on that Asian- Pacific shit as i believe it to be a stronger economy: bullish future.
8th. All the suckas pimpin there weak-ass shit!
SO. a little sumpin-sumpin been on the streets and i ain't gettin a taste. i thinks its some kids joy-riding. soon, they will feel the catfish's circle hook diggin deeep in the joint. grip up. CFJ

Friday, May 4, 2007

Holy Moly!!!

Wow. has it been nice here. campin at devils lake in 4 weeks. Sexxy bait girl just got a new bike and i have a foto of her on the wisco. Peace in the Middle East.!!

Monday, April 30, 2007


hi all, sorry i haven't written for awhile. been very busy as spring is here and finally can get some things done. canoed around the wisco with Sexy bait girl yestrday. had fun and checked out re asecret "camp-catfish".. an old earthen fire ring, probably from early cave man catfisherman is all that remains. we are goin to do camp catfish this fall and you're all invited!!
i did have an off meeting with the splinter -cell bait group last week. i could not take a photo, but i did have a sit-down with them. as i am a "made -man", gettin bait will be no problemo. well off to work on saabs at my buddy York's shop. i have learned how to rebuild and entire saab transmission in about an hour.. there are many facets to catfishjim no??
plus. a new crime syndicate has established itself in town as 2 cars were stolen in town last week. unfortunately, the audi that was boosted was in possession by York's wife. so. they may be trying to get a message to me through my friends. My friends Are my Family, so we may have a turf war. time to call my specialist in. the "wasteman". more later.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Merry 4/20!!!!!!!!!!

some say, "the best day of the year".. i remember the ole days when i'd hit 4:20 p.m. and a.m. i was working, but thought jerrry garcia, cuz he kicked the bucket @ that time. almost may and we are thick in trivia 32 right now. i got so jacked up on energy drinks last nite, i was watching walker, texas ranger at midnight, but i'd already seen it.
new news.. i have an informant in the "garbage mafia" i will try to interview this rat and find more info. later

Friday, April 13, 2007

Will the real Slimcatfish please stand up.!?!.

hello faithful disciples. yes its me, the real slimcatfish is here!!!!! bait up, beer up, get your new license, ice, fresh line. and all that. trivia is here in stevens point. phat tony's team ( for the first time in trivia) and i believe his name of the team may go down in history as thee Lamest Name in History.
so not much new, get some new gear. a must is some new flourocarbon leader material.. i tried the Stren brand flourocarbon in the ocean fishing for yellowtail snapper, while my god/friend greg used Seaguar flourocarbon... i didn't notice any difference as i caught fish for fish next to him. (which is a tall feat considering he is a god and i a demi-god) but anyways..... more next time..
tony didn't go to tennessee to make love to his man-gina buddies but stayed home to clean his house like a good woman, i am actually here at Phat tony's now..and drinking his delicious, ice cold beer.. peace, love, and bobby sheurman. cfj. out

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Doug Stange Lives!

Hi Jim: Nice to hear from you. Always difficult as a fisherman to make a perfectly accurate prediction what's happening in the environments we're fishing as far as the fish population is concerned. Need to get the biologist boys involved if possible. I know that's not possible or easilyso many times. Big fish are always vulnerable, though. Anyway, hope you continue to have decent fishing and good fishing to you! I'm busy working on a historic catfish book which we hope to have available sometime next year. doug stange, editor in chief

Yes, my followers,!!! those are the words sent to me by DOUG STANGE!! wow. he's the best. and so humble, and what about that hot tip on the book. sure to be on Oprah's top ten.
Well, we got a nice snow bath yesterday. not as bad as forecast here, but still cold, and i worry about the robins.. there has been no bug hatch so i am concerned that they have nothing to eat. the snow is a bummer as we had 80 degree weather a little ago. Phat tony may go down to Tennessee this weekend, but the cold snap reaches down into ArKansas. yikes. not much new here, goin to the west coast for the first time...excited. and i get to visit the San Fran o the midwest next month. yes...minneapolis, which is near metropolis where superman lives. so. hi on morale, low on fishin.......take it easy.... catfishjim out
p.s. Doug said its "nice to hear from me"

Friday, April 6, 2007

Jeff K*pps' "In back of beyond"... Full of Lies

Jeff lies, lies, lies..... !!!We all know he lies when his lips move. He does not fish for ivy. he was probably trying to fornicate with cats. what is wrong with this demented individual???
I have fished with the man, and now he thinks he is a "pussy" cat? I think his diet may contain too much mercury.
On another note, We all have heard of the contaminated cat food that is in the recalled "science diet" don't throw it away!!! Chum with it!!!!! It is a wonderful attractent and very oily. excellent. i must go ... the Catfish King calls. Peace my catfish brethren.

Thursday, April 5, 2007


That's what i do, study. my catalogs, my magazines. looking to glean a little more info.. temps dropped from near 80 to now 14 fahrenheit. that'll stop the bite. no boats are out there. none. zip. zilch. bait girl and i are heading to a secret oregon resevoir for catfish this year, the sugar river, devil's lake, the illinois, the rock, and i'd like the fox or wolf, many places. and i'm ready to order my musky stuff, care to piggy-back on my order???

Monday, April 2, 2007

Really, Really April fool's day/ Catfish Trench

hello all. i'm sorry of lack of posts lately.. i had to travel to the Degaba system to study with my mentors, doug stange and otis the toad. i have returned strong and steadfast.
Well, i hooked up my first catfish of the year already. seemed soon for wisconsin, my earliest catch before that was in April , the 12th to be exact, of 5 years ago. i honestly got the spot from a game warden. (for shame) I have fish'd the spot from a bo-at though. i got my first fish on land in less than 5 minutes. damn was i excited. i was so happy.
Another tale from the catfish trench!!!!!!!!! all of us shore fisherman can understand and relate to this... Scenario: i'm sittin-n- sippin' a cold milwaukee's best Ice, 3 lines in the water, fishin a turn in the wisco next to the happy heron boat landing,(newly renovated, should check it out). A guy with a new BO-AT is all titty-giddy to get his bo-at in the water for its maiden trip. i chit-chat a little with him, to be friendly to the lowly walleye fisherman. he gets in the bo-at and starts to drift downstream, passing over one of my lines. Now this has happened on many occassions as i can cast from here to the moon, but this time was my first.....right when he passes over my line, he Hammers down, my rod bends over, and my drag starts screaming like i hooked an enormous carp. i was in shock, and kicked my self for not mentioning earlier "Hey buddy!!watch out for my lines!!!"" i ran over and cut the line as i expected my rod to lauch in the drink....i lost over 50% of my line, learned a lesson, and then packed my shit and skee-daddled. i figured that much line may cause a mess in the prop, especially when a 2 ounce sinker slams into a boat hull at mach 10.
also catfish brethren, the new 2007 Catfish-insider is out!!! with new and exciting products. i am glad to add this to my collection. take it easy, and don't let yer woman find the bait hidden in the fridge:)

Saturday, March 24, 2007

!!!Ice Out!!!

Ice out is here and now. yea, it is good!. really not much goin on except gearin up for musky. I talked with my man Greg about musky and where to go and what to use. i got most the schizoo, just need the eye of the tiger. Boats are stacking up tight in the river. walters are biting and of course so are the catfish.. shit.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

DAMN THEE DARTH M.MATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN THEE, DAMN THEE, DAMN THEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How dare YOU put a HIT on me.!!!!!!!!!!! my son, I love you. cast away thine hatred and fall back weeping like a little girly man back into my arms.. when youre lookin down the barrel of a gun, what does it matter what species of fish do you work for???
Thats it, I'm headin to the FishLady for reinforcements!!! bitch! love, catfishjim

Wisco. update./ M.Matt's dead: widow now available

Well, the walleye are already running below Dubay dam now.. that about 2 weeks early. last year the bluegills didn't move into the sloughs until ice had already formed. global warming, or shifting weather cycles are forcing us fishermen to change up the "usual" times of the year to fish for certain varieties.
The 4th of July has always been when the carp spawn here. they frolick and jump in their grotesque orgy. fins,eggs,and sperm. Like some kind of disgusting breakfast omelette. I fondly call this exhibition "White Trash Sea World".. just think of shamu and namu as enormous Carp and ya get the picture.
It takes til @ june to start gettin some catfish action, here in midwest wisconsin.. I anticipate the warm weather and cold beer like a suicide bomber looks forward to all those virginal young boys:)
The boat landing at Galecke park is open and ready to launch. some gentleman has already put in yesterday. may feel a little early, but the bigger fish usually move earlier.. Try to make an attempt at your usual spot 2 weeks earlier than usual.. it'll probably be kinda cold, but suck it up. the fish are in the water, they don't feel the air....put on your long undies and don't be a sissy.
A few new fotos have been added. if you hadn't guessed, P. tony is richard simmons. we went to a close friend of ours wedding one dreaded helloween friend died a horrible, tragic, jelly-donut incident... so his fine woman is open to despoil and plunder.. look out julie. the men are coming!!! take it easy. catfish jim over and out!

Monday, March 19, 2007

Beware Darth M.matt!! Phat tony is now his Disciple!

For Catfishjim's Disciples Eyes Only!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beware my catfish brethren of the Dark M.Matt. His power has grown far more than expected. My once strong brutha, Phat Tony , has fallen prey to my misled son. M.Matt. the once strong brown jedi, P.tony is now lost the the Pink side of the force. No man can save him now!! I must call upon The purple crusader, Prince!!!!!! leave thine vegas sanctity for now is the prophecy! Purple and pink make brown! Yes.
I call to all baitmasters and chumthrowers, lay down thine shafts of ugly stik-edness. together is our only hope. Let us converge to our fishspot of lore.... the legendary "Butthole". there is where we are safe from Darth M.Matt and his super- gay disciple. P.tony.
Trust no one, and tell no baitlady for none are safe. the time is now... the triad must survive!!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Undercover brother from another mother/ Darth M.matt.

yes.!!! i have received a photo of a fisherman turned bait informant. this photo came at the expense of many fine men. You may recognize my friend phat tony on the left. the middle is who i call "Mr. Bait" and the man drinking deep from the flask is , yes. Milwaukeematt.
i know what you may think, but catfish, "Phat tony is yo best bud, whats M.matt doin with him?"" my only response is that i loved him too much. yes...i found M.matt an orphan. a baby left for naught in a 5 gallon bucket down by the river. I accepted this young babe and took him under my fin. i raised him and taught the subtle ways of bait presentation, the nuance of the circle hook, how to read the river bottom from the ripples in the water..

and yes, i taught him how to "feel" the fish. the same force that the brown and pink jedi share. without one you can't have the other... the lifeforce that binds us and makes the universe one. but M.matt's passion to catch monster catfish changed when he started to kill them and sell there flesh. he grew too powerful. and then he met the Fish Lady and fell under her slimy power. she offered him all the bait in the universe for his allegiance. and now, my son., i have dedicated my life to hunt you down and take back the secret of the fish. we will meet on a river bank someday. A day that i dread, for it is my fate to destroy what i love. the burden of catfishjim.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Wow. have been poisoned? .Cat whisperer...!! Happy St. Patrick's day

A bit of the irish in me, eh?? this goes out to all you fine drunk,irish,capitalist pigs. cheers. raise your drink high, and pour thine spirit deep in yer belly!!! kampaiii!!!!
well boys and girly-boys, i think the polii tried to poison me with polonium-23, or some type of power-scent additive. i have been laid out for the last 5 days with some type o mutagenic-virus... i can just barely get down a 12 pack before i pass out. Los mafioso may have put out a "trot-line" for my neck, or just a warning cast.. trust no one, hold your friends close, and enemies closer.. the Fish Lady "made" me a long time down the way, but a new Momma might be puttin the fish in the frying pan....
Gotta get back my he-man stamina, i dunno, but the crows have been circlin', but my Keepers of the Pillows; Sir Cinco, Sir Tigger, and the witch Sassy have been guarding me stoicly. just feed them and empty the litter of the cats and they stand fast.
yes, not only with the fish of cats do i talk , but also with fuzzy kitties. and sweater kittens. but it seems the cats just want to be pet mostly...
wow, the fish are hittin behind Rusty's now, so punch a hole and ice-fish, or punch a ho, and take her seat and order a bloody mary. nothing beats fishing at/near a bar...:)
wow. keep those comments comin!! And if ya have any news of any, let me know..Peace to my amish bitches!!!!!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

who will be an april foo ???

That's right. a fool. unless your Mr.T, and then i pity you. Of course April 1st is the day "los bastardos", the DNR, use to catch unwary fisherpeople. yes. look out as that is the day your old fishing license expires. so make haste to 2 get a new license for 2008. the DNR may make an exception if you have a spare benjamin, but probably not. My friend from boulder junction got busted once and he got a cavity search.. he requested it though. i got popped by the dnr "crick dicks" two years ago with a crappy walleye fisherman. yet another reason not to trust another fisherman (unless a carp or catfisherman). it seems this walleye dude needed food and wanted to keep the fish because they are "good-eatin". In the process of netting one of these monolithic toob-sox, i bloodied my thumb on the back of the engine. so i started chugging beer as it was my only available pain-killer. it helped ease the pain until "they" wanted to see what "we" had caught. i pleaded my case as i am a catfisherman and would not want to keep such puny fish except for bait. long story short, we split the fine. an expensive half inch.
moral of the story: only fish for species that do not warrant to be measured. its a ploy for the dnr to bust you with a fine more suitable for musky fishermen.
!!!!!Watch out!!! be aware ice-catfishermen.....the ice is still about 12 inches, and then some, on some of the lakes, but the river is sketchy...super sketchy. Be safe and practice the buddy system. if fishing alone, please tell someone your "super-secret spot" as if you don't return soon, they know where to look.. serious, i always let someone know where i go. don't be that guy and have to cut off your arm with a dull swiss army knife..... later ..catfish

Monday, March 12, 2007

Just another manic monday.

this is first day adjusting to the new time schedule. it sux. I need my coffee like i like my men, hot and in a cup. Gonna punch a few holes thru the ice today before work, but where??? where is my un-employed fishin carp-buddy when i need one?? oh yeah, tony kicked him out of his house.
well, time to look into my crystal ball and ask, "what would Chuck do?" Kick ya in the head with a deadly roundhouse jump kick., that's what he'd do!! shit, i hate ice fishing anyways.
catfish jim has packed on a few extra pounds this winter by sampling too much of his experimental stank bait.. but you gotta know what it tastes like to know if the fish'll like it. that reminds me of a stink bait recipe i posted a couple years ago on "april fool's day" that include fresh, hot, steaming dog poo. it took a couple days before the webdude in charge must've gotta complaint. HEY, if you're not ready to step up to the plate and use crap to hit a home run, go shine my shoes! Catfish love shit!!! that's why i love them and they love me.. "exactly 32 centimeters" well. time to gear up, take care all ye brethren and remember, "you're only as good as the bait your fishin with." Sucker!! catfish jim out....

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Phat flatheads in

hello. a recent huge catfish was slammed in central illinoise. powerton lake in Pekin. near peoria.. as we all remember, pekin is one place that distills Absolut vodka. go figure.. this powerton lake is a warm water discharge lake,(similar to lake columbia(which currently holds the record for producing the worlds largest piranha) in our wisconsin.. this lake has produced yet another 70+ flat head catfish... the flatheads are in the wisconsin now too.. if ya didn't know yet. which you probably didn't because your not named catfish jim. so there. especially you jeff krolski. more about flatheads in the wisco later.....

Crap. its daylight savings day.

well, its warm and sunny today. that in between time. ice fishin' is kinda hinky, river too cold. i think i may fish in the wps fountain today. or better yet, lake pacawau? either way. If any of my catfish disciples have not seen 'Borat" , i'd recommend watching it. the ending is the best, other than the nude wrestling.
so. back to fishin.. this in-between-time is a great opportunity to refill old fishing line with new line, disassemble those reels and re "lube" the gears. this will maintain your gear, ensuring years of flawless performance.
in other news. i have discovered a new splinter cell of bait mongers. it is an area i never suspected. i found home base awhile ago, and even withdrew some stunning inf0rmation from past bait agents..... the bait mafia is not one but many... there has been a secret struggle for bait distribution for years, with untold bait deaths. sleepin with the fish lady, if ya know what i mean, and god i hope you don't know what i mean. the head fish lady of Ricky's bait was whacked last year. this matriarchy was in turmoil after her passing and now is being ran by a man.!! shit. this dude is toast. bait doesn't get moved by guys and we all now that. Cliff's bait 24-7 is ripe for the picking. if not for the well-trained dobberman pincers, she'd be chum by now.... i must infiltrate this family, for bait runs this state. and all fishermen, garbagemen, potatoe farmers, politicians,..know we are all under the thumb of the bait mafia..!!!! i will be off line for awhile, must head to Polonia to hide out. stay posted my brothers...except you erik. you damn musky whore.!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

nothing sux like a hoover(or milwaukee matt)

the notorious hoover dam. yes. large catfish are said to be below this dam. Catfish large enough to swallow two full-grown men in one gulp. it was reported that a diver doing repair work on the dam, burst from the water so terrified from the monolithic catfish that his hair had turned white. one man, i was told, fished for these mammoths with a car winch, and hand-forged steel hooks. my guess is dynamite would prove effective. but i don't know with the dam and water and all if they'd like someone throwing dynamite in the water at the base of the hoover dam.

new world order

oh yeah. i will be musky fishin' this year. much to my chagrin. i will be fishin what i think is the highest concentwashun of musky in the wisco. river. i won't talk openly though about it as my name is catfish.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

my first bolg entry

blog,bolg,..whatever. yep, its true.....i'm here too in cyber-blog-land. No way to avoid my idle ramblings and ideas and thoughts.... i am inspired to do this by my carpfish buddy. jeffers. He too may teach you his carpy way. more to come of course.. stories of me and sassytatas(my fembot fishin buddy), Phat tony (my other Phatter fishin buddy) , plus polish-mafia and bait-mafia updates... have a cold one and get ready to ride the catfish wave..... love. jim